I think I did the right thing

Well, I think I did the right thing by stepping back. I hadn't heard from him since yesterday morning, so by tonight I was imagining the worst, lol, then trying to convince myself, based on our last interaction, that I was wrong.

We finally talked tonight and it turns out that his whole week has been absolutely crappy, that he has been feeling really down about his money situation, and feeling like our secure financial future together is a pipe dream. So he hasn't wanted to talk to anyone. He told me how much he appreciated me not sending numerous texts, as he put it 'it would have sent me insane'. PHEW!

Pat on the back for me, lol. It has been sooo hard not to text him, but I did it, and now have the satisfaction of knowing it was the right thing to do, especially at this point in time. So I shall continue.

Something else I need to do is remind myself that he also had a life before I came along, some of which is very important to him. Sometimes I can act very immature, and selfish. He was supposed to go to a car meet this weekend, and when he told me about it last week, I got a little sooky. He said he wouldn't go, but then the money issue happened, so he wasn't coming to see me either (and that I did sook at, badly, and now I am ashamed of my behaviour).

But my backing off gave me a chance to reflect and think. The car meet was clearly important to him, it was something he had organised, it involved alot of people he had known for a long time, and he was now missing out on it.

So when I heard from him today I sent him a message saying that I hoped his weekend had improved and I hoped he had found a way to go to the meet. He had, he is getting a lift up, instead of taking his own car. I then said that I was really pleased to hear he was going, and that he deserved it after his crap week, in reply he sent me a smiley and told me he should be back to normal in the next day or so. I am genuinely glad that he is going. I am glad that we are having a long distance relationship as it is stopping us from consuming each other's lives

So I will continue to repeat to myself 'I am a gorgeous, successful woman, with a great job and lovely kids'. I will walk tall and be proud of who I am. For so long I have let myself be satisfied with settling for something, usually second best. I am changing, developing, refinding myself.

My dance classes are part of my development process. I did ballroom dancing as a child and loved it and have always wanted to go back to it. Well, now I have, and while I am not very good, I do try and I love the feeling I get when I finally 'get' the steps I am suppsed to be doing (mind you, I thin I will be signing up for the beginners course again, sooo not ready for intermediate, lol). Also, getting my bike license is part of my change. It is another thing I have wanted to do for as long as I can remember, and in a couple of weeks I will be going to do my pre-learners course. yay!

Did a stack of unpacking today and rearranged my bedroom. The place is really coming together now. I am exhausted and will be heading to bed shortly. My tiredness is not helped by toddler coming in at 6am to wake me, precious child. We were at the park by 7am, lol, just for an hour. I hung upsidedown on the monkey bars for the first time in years, lol, been awhile since I could lift my body weight enough to do that!

Oh, I have lost 9kgs in as many weeks. So my loss has slowed to a healthy range and I am feeling very good about myself and my progress. I have decided to aim to lose another 15kgs max. Mind you, I will reassess my body with each 5kgs lost. I would like to remain curvy. I have dropped a full dress size now, it is so nice to fit into so much of my clothing, lol. Had to buy new jeans though, because the ones I had kept falling off, literally! And my work clothes! They are so expensive that I have asked mum to take my 7 week old pants in for me in the not too distant future cos I can't afford to buy new ones! I can nearly pull them off without undoing them, and when I bought them they were a firm fit! lol. One of my colleagues is going to bring in some of her work uniform pieces that she no longer fits in to, I am hoping they will tide me over.