It is a Vivaldi sort of day

When I am not so great I like to listen to Vivaldi.

My head feels messy tonight, for various reasons...

I find myself missing D, yet I cannot figure out why I am missing him as I have had so little to do with him for so long. I do not want to miss him, he does not deserve that attention.

I was irritated this morning, D2 stayed over and followed me around a bit while I was getting myself and the kids ready for work. He has asked me a couple of times about my morning routine and when he asked me again this morning I was a little snappy because I felt like he was trying to know every move I make. I do not want to have to justify how I organise my mornings, or timetable what I do in the morning, for anyone.

Work was not so great, we were given a new task that was boring, but necessary. I got feedback for stupid mistakes that were based on lack of knowledge that could have been passed on by our trainers, so that annoyed me too. Was glad to find out I was not the only one making the mistake, but it has created more work for me tomorrow morning. I have fairly high expectations for myself and I guess I need to relax a little about that.

I feel like I want to eat choc and drink wine, then go hide in my room for the rest of the evening. Of course that is not really an option. I have choc, so will indulge, then will complete my housework and mummy stuff and relax with a movie or book.

I am reading New Moon again by Stephenie Meyer. The movie comes out soon and I wanted to refresh my memory of the book. It is actually kind of hard to read because when Bella talks about the intensity of her feelings for Edward I am reminded of how I felt for D. It is a challenge.

I am enjoying spending time with D2. It appears that he feels about me the way I felt about D last October/November. D2 is already using the 'L' word and talking about missing me when he does not see me. I cannot even begin to claim to feel the same way, so I refrain from such declarations. I quite happily say that I like him alot and enjoy his company, but I am not in any sort of rush to jump into a full on relationship. He would like to spend every night with me, but no way is that happening any time soon, and this morning is a good example of why I should not rush it. He has met my mum, and he will meet my best friend on Sunday. I would have been quite happy to not see him till Sunday, but I have said he can visit on Thurs. I like the cuddles, lol, and as I have already said, I do like his company.

D2 has to sell his house in the next couple of months to pay out his ex and I can see him possibly pushing to move in when that happens. Well, no, he will not be moving in, certainly not this year and not so soon after meeting him. We have talked about a trip to Fiji in Dec/Jan, this is something I would love to do and so I will see how we are at that stage. Maybe when we come back from that I will know whether I want to live with him.

Well, why not, I deserve it!

Have spent quite a few hours with D2 (he has the same initial as the previous guy, diff name tho) now and am find that I don't want to say goodbye, and neither does he. I am enjoying the attention and looking forward to seeing where things with us go.

My ex got back into Sydney on Wednesday, so this weekend I am kid free and loving it. I kind of feel a little guilty saying that, but I need the break and I will be happy to see them tomorrow. Looking forward to next week when my bestest friend and her hubby come to stay, we are going to the Pink concert WOO!!!

No.2 got an awesome school report so I have to think of a way to acknowledge that, maybe go bowling. Still waiting on Teen's report.

I am enjoying work now. The training has been intense and tiring, and is not over yet as we continue to develop our skills on the job. I do not love sitting at a computer for 6 hrs a day, and I really need to watch my eating and exercise or I will put the weight back on. I can see myself doing this job for awhile tho.

Waiting to see

I met what seems to be a genuinely nice guy today. He is 30, no kids, was in a 9 yr relationship, married for two. Works as a manager at a local supermarket. Has been to Tasmania, QLD, Vietnam and Fiji. Likes fishing, camping and 4wdriving. Is interested in Astronomy. Has a med sized dog called BJ. I like him, enjoyed his company enough to spend 3 hours talking to him and arranged to meet up with him tomorrow night. He is a little taller than me, overweight, has lovely eyes and a nice smile. Seems pretty together and in the same frame of mind as me - life is for living.

I now have new things to add to my 'to do' list
go to Vietnam and Fiji
Snorkelling
Fishing from a boat
Sleeping under the stars
Snuggling on the lounge watching a movie with someone other than my kids

I am not smitten, I am not swooning, and I am not lusting...yet :P

Speaking of all of the above...D
I have not seen him in person for about 3 weeks. I am not bothered by this. I believe he has found himself a girlfriend and I was ready to move on. I realised that I felt like I was in my marriage again - being neglected and feeling more alone in a 'relationship' that when I am not in one. He did not deserve my affection. We have chatted online a couple of times, but as friends now rather than as lovers or anything else. I am comfortable with where things are at now.

Work has finally started to get more interesting and I am looking forward to this week as we start actually serving customers from Thursday. It is a little exciting and scary at the same time.

Week 2

is over. I am feeling good about the job so far. I am part of a brand new team that was created to handle a service that was previously being handled by the call centre division, but which has grown so much it needs it's own team. The 9 of us who are left in the training room (the other 8 have been moved into different areas) will be the team and we are all pretty keen to get started. We have about 2 more weeks of on the job training.

No.2's birthday this weekend.

Oh, had to LOL, D messaged me saying he thought I should let him go, then 24 hrs later messaged me to ask if he could see me. Sounds like exactly what I did a couple of weeks ago. How silly and screwed up are we both?! Saw him, enjoyed his company, and thought nothing of it. Might see him again, might not. Either way, I am back on the dating sites and getting approached by undesirables LOL.

Going out clubbing with my bro's tomorrow night, really looking forward to it. Tried on some clothes last night and ended up with this look...
Not bad hmmm...?