learning curve

So, well, it has been a few days ssince X found out that I was dating someone. He questioned me about how long I had been seeing him for, how soon after he and I had split, etc. He got cranky about me having the boys next weekend to go and meet D's son, since he feels that the only quality time he gets with them is on the weekend (hahahahaha, his idea of quality time hasn't changed, as long as they are in the same house together it is quality time to X). So I backed off on that one, since the boys can always meet D's son another time. I actually prefer the first meeting to be just me, looks like we might go bowling after we have a picnic.

Anyway, X has settled down a bit. Big news for him though, he was offered a posting on a ship for a year and he took it, this was before he found out about D (the same day). He was annoyed about it after he found out about D and how far away D lives, because he got all worried that I was going to move. I told him that I was considering moving in 12 months time, and that it was early days between me and D anyway. That seemed to appease him for the moment. He has since said that we need to discuss it further.

Met D's parents and his brother on Saturday. They all seem nice, fairly basic people. His mum chatted to me about her different activities and interests and his bro and I had a good laugh over a few things. His dad didn't say much at all. I took a slice that I had baked with me and that seemed to make a good impression, so much so that I was allowed to stay the night, lol. D and I were watching tv on his bed when he said 'I think I might ask mum if you can stay the night', lol, so cute. So he did, and I was allowed.

The afternoon with D wasn't quite what I had expected. I had gone thinking I would get lots of kisses and cuddles and maybe a bit of mucking around, but we just hung out on the bed watching tv. I talked to D about it later and he said that on his last day off work he really likes to just veg out, and that kisses and cuddles are nice, but not what he was in the mood for. Is all good, I am certainly still learning about him. It was nice to sleep beside him in his bed though, to hold and be held as we rested. Bloody cat fell in love with me though and after we kicked him out he kept banging on the door, lol. We got up at 4.30am so he could get ready for work, then left together, me to go to mums for a few hours, and D to work. I met up with him at his work for lunch, then headed home.

On the way home I spent some time thinking about how I had expectations. I really need to get rid of my habit of having expectations. It has been damaging in the past, and it could be damaging now if I don't stop it.

I realised that we have started moving past the initial infatuation stage, that we have established the fact we like each other to the point of being able to say 'love', that we both want to work on the long term aspect. So now it is time to be a friend. I googled 'spouse as a friend' because I am not familiar with being friends with a man. The results were what I expected though - treat the person as you would want to be treated, communicate, be honest, be there if you can, acceptance of the person as a whole package, etc, etc. So this is where I am at now. It is not going to be easy, but the best things in life are usually rewards for hard work, so there you go.

I don't think I will see D till Saturday, he has bills to pay and is working till Thursday, so it seems a bit pointless him coming down. I have left it up to him.