3 strikes and I'm out

On to the next date. This time with B, who appeared intelligent and funny via text.

First date, I'm kept waiting, but he has the decency to text to let me know he's running late. He turns up wearing pretty casual clothes and thongs. Although he is 6' 2", he slouches as he walks, so seems shorter. I wave and call out hello as he comes closer, and then he opens his mouth to reply. Oh sweet Lordy Jesus. Meth Mouth. Cannot call it anything else. I try to shrug it off because I've liked his brain so far, but all the while my mind is ticking, because you don't get teeth like that (or a lack of teeth) without some serious drug abuse, or long time poor dental hygiene.

We walk along for about 30mins, chatting about various things. He's unemployed, but had previously worked for 13 yrs in the metal industry. He has a son who is in the custody of B's mother (this really ought to have been a red flag moment). We stopped for coffee and chatted some more. In setting up the meeting, I had made sure that time was limited, as I wanted to have a valid reason for leaving. I have to say, I enjoyed his company. He was pretty nicely spoken, reads interesting books, didn't smell bad. Didn't have a good relationship with his dad, but was very much a mummy's boy. I decided that it wouldn't hurt to continue getting to know him so I asked him if he'd like to see a movie later that week. He said yes.

Yes, the teeth bothered me. He brought them up in conversation and gave me the impression that it was because of a genetic condition. I accepted that, with reservations. It just did not sit quite right.

Next date. We went and had milkshakes before the movies. He held my hand. We talked. Watched the movie. He stole a kiss outside the cinemas (unexpected and not encouraged, but ok). Talked some more. Went up to a lookout and sat watching ships come in for awhile. It was nice. It didn't feel pressured. He had brought up sex a couple of times and I made it clear I wasn't in a rush to go there. He seemed fine with that. Drug use is mentioned but he gives the impression that it wasn't a long term thing. I have my doubts.

I drop him off at his halfway house (yeh. Red flag number 2). He couldn't drive because of being drunk while driving multiple times (red flag number 3). Of course it was the ex's fault. He texts me an hour or so after our 2nd date and tells me he's fallen for me (sigh. Red flag number 4).

Texts are not explicit, but he talks 'sexy' more. I sigh. He says he loves me. I think 'for real? how on earth?'

Date 3. I have to go buy a gazebo and I invite him to come along for the ride. I pick him up. His hand goes on my knee. I can't decide if I mind or not so I leave it. We go find a gazebo. We go for lunch at a food court. He starts talking about one day when we move in together and various things along that line. I laugh it off because, seriously, it's the 3rd date, and it's not much of a date. He has a little whine about how busy I am this coming weekend and how it's hard to juggle things when you have kids (yeh, I know all about that).

I drop him off after lunch.

So, at that stage I like him a bit. No sparks, but I don't expect that anymore. He's nice, and courteous, and ok looking (besides the teeth, which are fixable). I think it could be fine to keep dating, but I'm going to have to tell him to chill out as he's thinking way too far ahead.

I'm at work on the weekend. Long hours, pretty full on. On the Sat he tells me he's having a bad day and doesn't feel like talking, so I leave him to it, don't hear from him again that day or the next morning. The next day I am worried about conserving ph battery so I turn it off at 9. I turn it back on at 11 to find 2 missed calls and 3 messages with him whining about me not answering my ph (along the lines of, 'fine, you don't want to talk to me, whatever'). I ignore all of it and am pretty annoyed by his attitude. I wasn't expecting to hear from him and he knew I was working. He then turns up outside my work, with his mum and son! I wave hello and continue what I am doing. He doesn't come in and talk to me and when I look back up, they have gone.

Right. I am done. I do not need another child. I do not want drama. I text him and say that my ph had been turned off and his comments were childish. I told him he needed to sort out his drama before he dates and that I was not comfy meeting his family after only 3 dates.

He chucked a small tanty.

It was all a little too intense for me.

I think I'll forget about dating for a while. 3 strikes and I'm out.

Another dating fail

I'm so over dating, or maybe I'm over thinking it.

Didn't get anywhere with G. Wasn't an issue that we'd met before, just didn't come of anything.

Started chatting to S. A stay-at-home dad with a young son. Works part-time. Chatted for a couple of weeks before meeting.

We went on a morning play date. I took my youngest and met S's little boy. It went fine, I thought (in comparison to other meet ups I've had). I spent a couple of hours listening to S tell me about his past, with the occasional interjection from myself. I'm used to this, every guy I've ever met has a tendency to just talk about themselves. Our boys got on fine and enjoyed the playground.

I felt the conversation went well. Nothing negative. I was non-judgmental, considerate, empathetic, interested in his kid, blah blah blah. Didn't hear from him till late that night. He responded to my text about enjoying the day and then said he'd thought I was hot. I told him that I hadn't realised he thought that, he asked why, and I said I wasn't sure, I just laughed it off. Then nothing. Sent a good morning text like we've been doing all week, didn't get a reply for hours and then it was just 'hi'.

So I spent some time thinking about it today, about why I hadn't got the impression that he thought I was anything special. I realised it was because he hadn't shown any interest in me and my life. Sure we'd talked and I'd been able to tell him something about myself, but not because he asked.

I think I can strike this one off and go back to not bothering again.

I just don't get it tho. I am a nice person. I am a good person. I am not perfect. Why is it so damn hard to find someone who can enjoy my company, have a conversation with me, show interest in me as a person?

It just feels too hard.

Oh, and D messaged me out of the blue saying he was thinking about us having sex.

....whatever...