I was going to re read the last post before writing this one, but I can see its been a while since I wrote so I won't bother.
Mum was in and out of hospital for a couple of months after having a lung removed. She has improved now, to the point where she is able to drive again. However, her doctors have reviewed her case and advised her that she would not be able to have radiation or chemo as her quality of life would be very poor and the treatment would not really benefit her. This means she doesn't get to buy any time. The prognosis is she has a year, maybe 2.
These past few months, where I have assisted in her care, have not been stress free. She is a challenging woman with strong opinions that she is not afraid to verbalise. I have had to bite my tongue many times when she has insulted me or my brothers. She has been tiresome and unpleasant and we tolerated it till recently because of her illness. There comes a point where enough is enough and I had it out with her. I explained to her that we, her children, were concerned about how unhappy she was and how she was taking it out on us. She claimed to have no idea what I was talking about so I gave her some examples. She stated that she was perfectly happy and was not a smiley person so we shouldn't expect that from her. I pointed out she treats non family members very differently. It went round and round in circles as these things sometimes do, but it seems to have got through to her as she was quite pleasant when I saw her this week and we had a nice intelligent conversation about societal values regarding extroverts vs introverts.
However, my youngest brother is living at home with mum and has not been coping. She has taken much of her anger out on him and, from my point of view, has behaved quite badly towards him. I tried to make her understand that he is living with his dying mother, he is faced with it every time he sees her, so it would be very confronting. Also, as he has a mild disability, he is struggling to get his head around the fact that she may not be there in a year. His answer is to resort to drugs to block out all the bad stuff.she then judges him for using drugs and things deteriorate from there. I think there is/was a co-dependent relationship there, made even stronger by the fact that mum has allowed him to use his mild disability as an excuse for not succeeding in life, and as a way to not teach him the skills he needs to survive on his own. I don't know how he is going to cope when mum goes and it would not surprise me if he ends up living with me at some point. I'm already a little tired thinking about the prospect, but I'm hopefully worrying about nothing.
Now to my life
My nearly adult(!!) son has got a job! Relieved would be putting it mildly. He finishes school in Nov and I am glad he will actually have an income. His employers seem to like him. I am still encouraging him to consider the Army next yr, but he is talking about going to TAFE (technical college) and doing something related to animal care. He's realised his whole mechanic phase was not what he wanted to do with his life right now and I am quite ok with that now that he has employment.
My now 13yr old is incredibly jealous of his big bro's employment and has been trying very hard to secure some for himself. Unfortunately he is just a bit too young, so he and I are going to team up and sell Avon for a bit.
Little boy is as gorgeous as ever.
Me, well, could be better. Was diagnosed with high blood pressure earlier this year and am on medication for that. Then had further bloods taken which show I am pre-diabetic. This means that I have to clean up my diet and lose the weight now or I am destined for a sick future. In the month since finding out I have lost two kilos and cleaned up my diet a lot. Still not perfect, but I'm getting there. Managed a 10k run last Sunday, did a poor time, but completed it and ran most of it.
I'm still not working, I have opted instead to go back to school and do an Assistant in Nursing course. We're three weeks in and I am thoroughly enjoying it. I'm doing it with one of my brothers and we're going well. I'm not sure what area I would like to specialise in, but he is keen for trauma/ED. We will both probably move on to do the Enrolled Nursing course as there are better job prospects. AIN's mostly end up in Aged Care and while I would appreciate the work experience, it's not what I want to do for life. I daydream about going outback and nursing there, or travelling around Australia picking up contract work. I feel like this isn't really an option with kids. Oldest boy will move out next year, but the middle boy and youngest will still be home. I see a bright future for the youngest (potentially. Could just be a biased mother talking tho) and I realise I need to be in a big town for him to achieve. Middle boy will be working next year and is already considering his future options. I just feel like my daydreams are not an option in the foreseeable future. Who knows what may come tho.
Oh, love life? That's laughable. I've seen D twice since he begged to be back in my life again (months ago). I really don't care about him one way or another and so haven't been particularly bothered by this. Even now, when I have a little more time to think about him/sex/love, I really feel very little at all. I should probably tell him to lose my number, but the likelihood is that he'd contact me another six months down the track and I'd have to listen to it all again. Well, I wouldn't have to, but...well, it's nice hearing that someone misses you, even when you know they don't really mean it.
Besides D, I have had little to no interest in being with someone, romantically or otherwise. It is much less complicated being single and I like just suiting myself. The boys are away this weekend and I'm looking forward to sleeping in, catching up with a friend or two for coffee, maybe see a movie, not having to talk to anyone if I choose. The thought of having to make time for a romantic interest just seems too bothersome.
Oop, dinner needs some attention
Cheers for now
