So I don't know if the scales I stood on are wrong, but they put me at 110kg (oh my god the horror). Yet my measurements are the same as in this post from nearly 5 yrs ago, where I was 99kg. How does that work?
Wait. I bet it's my body fat percentage. I'd say I am way more fat than muscle. Muscle takes up much less space than fat. No... that doesn't work.
Ugh my brain hurts
Friday, November 27, 2015
Looking back and moving forward
and all that that entails.
I read back on my last few posts, since it's been a while. I'm happy to say the writing bug is still biting, albeit inconsistently lol. I'm working on a long piece of work that has 3 main characters, one of which is a female. The characters are writing themselves and are going in some interesting directions. I think my work needs a dragon tho. Definitely some magic. I had got into a routine of getting up at 6am and writing till 7ish (usually clocked up 350 odd words), but I've fallen out of that habit for a couple of weeks. I could say I'm doing research, since I'm watching a few shows with strong female characters, but I'd know I was lying. I have been reading tho! THat's research right? In the last three months I have read...
*The Martian by Andy Weir - five stars! I want to read it again, soon. Saw the movie and it was pretty good.
*When by Victoria Laurie - five stars! A YA novel, but well worth reading. About a girl who can see peoples' death dates on their foreheads and because of this is implicated in 2 murders.
*The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde - mmm three stars. Interesting look at how friendships can twist and turn and how obsessed people can become with their looks. I've read reviews that say it was a psychological horror story. Maybe I need to read it again because it didn't strike me like that.
*Under the Dome by Stephen King - five stars! Fantastic read and a million times better than the series
*The Liars' Club: A memoir by Mary Karr - five stars! Mary Karr opens up about her childhood, which was quite dysfunctional. A good insight into children coping with abuse and difficult divorce
*The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath - four stars. A known classic. A somewhat autobiographical piece. Interesting to watch the character as she loses her way mentally. Could relate to some of her experiences and feelings.
*Tipping the Velvet by Sarah Waters - four stars. The author's debut novel. Had no idea what the book was about before I started it. Set in the late 1800's. It explores gender roles in the Victorian Era, focussing on lesbian love mostly. A little shocking, a little surprising, definitely interesting.
*Little Stranger by Sarah Waters - four stars. Read this one before Tipping the Velvet. Interesting read, slow-paced. Set in post WWII Warwickshire. Main character is a Dr Faraday, a country Dr who becomes involved with the local gentry. Features a poltergeist (not quite as exciting as you'd hope).
So you can see that my reading has been quite varied :-) I've had a few late nights and may have read at work once or twice.
Ah! Work! So, I did my AIN course, then went ahead and did Enrolled Nursing. My bro did not tag along as he and his lovely fiancee have had not one, but two children in the last 2 yrs! He is the stay at home dad, while Em tutors and goes to uni. Seems to work for the 2 of them but doesn't bring much money in, Anyway, halfway through my EN course I got employed by an agency as an AIN, so I work casual, usually 2 nights a week, on a variety of wards in a variety of hospitals in the local region. For the most part I like the work. I work nights because that is what suits best. I have completed my EN course and now just need to come up with the money to register.
I've had a number of people suggesting I go and do my RN's at uni. I am not at all interested in doing my RN's, but have had trouble convincing a couple of my friends of this. Anyway, the thought of going back to uni did appeal and so I looked at what I was interested in. I've been accepted into a Bachelor of Science, starting next yr. I'm a bit excited about it. If I do well I'll consider a grad dip in forensic science. The uni I am going to used to do a specialty in Forensics, but have ceased that course, much to my annoyance. I'm not prepared to move to Sydney to study Forensics, so will take the long way round, if I do it at all. I plan to major in Biology. I have only told a couple of people, and none of the ones who were pushing me to do RN's. Ugh. How to explain that I'm going to uni for the pleasure of learning rather than in the simple pursuit of yet another career? I don't even know what my goal is by doing this degree. I do think it is funny that once I finish I'll have a Bachelor of Social Science, a Grad Dip of Applied Science, and a Bachelor of Science. Science nerd much LOL!
I can't see myself doing nursing forever. I like it, love aspects of it, but it's hard on the body. My body is, to my disgust, not as young as it once was. I have aches and pains that get in the way of doing some things. Nursing is not a career for a sore body. Maybe I'll go back into libraries, but medical ones. Maybe I'll be a research assistant. I don't know.
The oldest boy left home about 6 months ago. I did not throw a party, cos that would be rude. Love him, but he's caused me so much grief at times that I was not sorry to see him leave. He lives in the area, but I've seen him only twice. He texts me occasionally (very occasionally). Sometimes I text him just to check he is alive. The other two boys don't seem to miss him.
I haven't coped well as a parent this last 18 mths. It hasn't been all bad, but my youngest has missed quite a bit of school, and teen isn't where he should be with his schooling. They get fed, but not always well. They always have clean clothes and a roof over their heads. Anyway, had a bit of a melt down a couple of months ago and called my ex to ask if he would take them on. They're good kids, it's not their behaviour that is the problem, it's all me. I'm just so tired. Exhausted. I feel like everything is a constant struggle and I just wanted it to stop. So they are moving to their dads early next yr. I've shed a lot of tears and had a bit of guilt. Thankfully, my ex is incredibly excited about the prospect of having his boys with him. My youngest is 9 and will get to be a big brother to his half-brothers, who are 5 and 3. Mr 9 is also excited about going to live with his dad and brothers. Teen is ok with it. He sees that there will be more job and training opportunities for him there. I will miss them. It will be weird. In 38 years I have only ever lived alone for 2 months. Mind you, I won't be completely alone as we have a fox terrier and 2 cats. The dog thinks I am amazing (he's right). The cats are cats. I am glad the house won't be echoing with silence.
Back at the gym. It's taken a long time to get there again. My foot took quite a while to heal. I go 3 times a week at the moment, I use the elliptical and the bike and I have just started running again. I also swim sometimes. I want to get back into weights but I have a shoulder issue that is being annoying by not going away (bursitis and nerve impingement). I'll get there tho. I was so proud and excited to be running again. Not fast and not far (best is 2.8 km in 30 mins), but that is ok. I don't want to hurt myself again. I weigh a stupid amount, triple digits, and so my goal is to get back down to double digits again. It's going to take a while and I need to work on my food, and probably exercise every day, but it will happen. In the meantime my focus is mostly on getting my muscles strong.
What else...hmmm...oh. I've been single for 6 mths. Dated a younger guy for about 6 mths (saw him once a week). Broke it off cos his house was a filthy pigsty and he smelt funny. Don't miss him, don't miss dating or anything associated with the same. I am quite happy being single again. I'm not on any sites. As I say to anyone who asks, 'not dating, not looking'. I cut D out of my life completely, I don't know how long ago this was, but I've spent some time healing. He got married a few months ago, to the girl he said he wasn't engaged to. Funny that. I could ruin his marriage, but I won't. I don't care about him any more.
Things are certainly changing for me. It's a roller-coaster ride sometimes, but I'm looking forward and embracing the unknown.
I read back on my last few posts, since it's been a while. I'm happy to say the writing bug is still biting, albeit inconsistently lol. I'm working on a long piece of work that has 3 main characters, one of which is a female. The characters are writing themselves and are going in some interesting directions. I think my work needs a dragon tho. Definitely some magic. I had got into a routine of getting up at 6am and writing till 7ish (usually clocked up 350 odd words), but I've fallen out of that habit for a couple of weeks. I could say I'm doing research, since I'm watching a few shows with strong female characters, but I'd know I was lying. I have been reading tho! THat's research right? In the last three months I have read...
*The Martian by Andy Weir - five stars! I want to read it again, soon. Saw the movie and it was pretty good.
*When by Victoria Laurie - five stars! A YA novel, but well worth reading. About a girl who can see peoples' death dates on their foreheads and because of this is implicated in 2 murders.
*The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde - mmm three stars. Interesting look at how friendships can twist and turn and how obsessed people can become with their looks. I've read reviews that say it was a psychological horror story. Maybe I need to read it again because it didn't strike me like that.
*Under the Dome by Stephen King - five stars! Fantastic read and a million times better than the series
*The Liars' Club: A memoir by Mary Karr - five stars! Mary Karr opens up about her childhood, which was quite dysfunctional. A good insight into children coping with abuse and difficult divorce
*The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath - four stars. A known classic. A somewhat autobiographical piece. Interesting to watch the character as she loses her way mentally. Could relate to some of her experiences and feelings.
*Tipping the Velvet by Sarah Waters - four stars. The author's debut novel. Had no idea what the book was about before I started it. Set in the late 1800's. It explores gender roles in the Victorian Era, focussing on lesbian love mostly. A little shocking, a little surprising, definitely interesting.
*Little Stranger by Sarah Waters - four stars. Read this one before Tipping the Velvet. Interesting read, slow-paced. Set in post WWII Warwickshire. Main character is a Dr Faraday, a country Dr who becomes involved with the local gentry. Features a poltergeist (not quite as exciting as you'd hope).
So you can see that my reading has been quite varied :-) I've had a few late nights and may have read at work once or twice.
Ah! Work! So, I did my AIN course, then went ahead and did Enrolled Nursing. My bro did not tag along as he and his lovely fiancee have had not one, but two children in the last 2 yrs! He is the stay at home dad, while Em tutors and goes to uni. Seems to work for the 2 of them but doesn't bring much money in, Anyway, halfway through my EN course I got employed by an agency as an AIN, so I work casual, usually 2 nights a week, on a variety of wards in a variety of hospitals in the local region. For the most part I like the work. I work nights because that is what suits best. I have completed my EN course and now just need to come up with the money to register.
I've had a number of people suggesting I go and do my RN's at uni. I am not at all interested in doing my RN's, but have had trouble convincing a couple of my friends of this. Anyway, the thought of going back to uni did appeal and so I looked at what I was interested in. I've been accepted into a Bachelor of Science, starting next yr. I'm a bit excited about it. If I do well I'll consider a grad dip in forensic science. The uni I am going to used to do a specialty in Forensics, but have ceased that course, much to my annoyance. I'm not prepared to move to Sydney to study Forensics, so will take the long way round, if I do it at all. I plan to major in Biology. I have only told a couple of people, and none of the ones who were pushing me to do RN's. Ugh. How to explain that I'm going to uni for the pleasure of learning rather than in the simple pursuit of yet another career? I don't even know what my goal is by doing this degree. I do think it is funny that once I finish I'll have a Bachelor of Social Science, a Grad Dip of Applied Science, and a Bachelor of Science. Science nerd much LOL!
I can't see myself doing nursing forever. I like it, love aspects of it, but it's hard on the body. My body is, to my disgust, not as young as it once was. I have aches and pains that get in the way of doing some things. Nursing is not a career for a sore body. Maybe I'll go back into libraries, but medical ones. Maybe I'll be a research assistant. I don't know.
The oldest boy left home about 6 months ago. I did not throw a party, cos that would be rude. Love him, but he's caused me so much grief at times that I was not sorry to see him leave. He lives in the area, but I've seen him only twice. He texts me occasionally (very occasionally). Sometimes I text him just to check he is alive. The other two boys don't seem to miss him.
I haven't coped well as a parent this last 18 mths. It hasn't been all bad, but my youngest has missed quite a bit of school, and teen isn't where he should be with his schooling. They get fed, but not always well. They always have clean clothes and a roof over their heads. Anyway, had a bit of a melt down a couple of months ago and called my ex to ask if he would take them on. They're good kids, it's not their behaviour that is the problem, it's all me. I'm just so tired. Exhausted. I feel like everything is a constant struggle and I just wanted it to stop. So they are moving to their dads early next yr. I've shed a lot of tears and had a bit of guilt. Thankfully, my ex is incredibly excited about the prospect of having his boys with him. My youngest is 9 and will get to be a big brother to his half-brothers, who are 5 and 3. Mr 9 is also excited about going to live with his dad and brothers. Teen is ok with it. He sees that there will be more job and training opportunities for him there. I will miss them. It will be weird. In 38 years I have only ever lived alone for 2 months. Mind you, I won't be completely alone as we have a fox terrier and 2 cats. The dog thinks I am amazing (he's right). The cats are cats. I am glad the house won't be echoing with silence.
Back at the gym. It's taken a long time to get there again. My foot took quite a while to heal. I go 3 times a week at the moment, I use the elliptical and the bike and I have just started running again. I also swim sometimes. I want to get back into weights but I have a shoulder issue that is being annoying by not going away (bursitis and nerve impingement). I'll get there tho. I was so proud and excited to be running again. Not fast and not far (best is 2.8 km in 30 mins), but that is ok. I don't want to hurt myself again. I weigh a stupid amount, triple digits, and so my goal is to get back down to double digits again. It's going to take a while and I need to work on my food, and probably exercise every day, but it will happen. In the meantime my focus is mostly on getting my muscles strong.
What else...hmmm...oh. I've been single for 6 mths. Dated a younger guy for about 6 mths (saw him once a week). Broke it off cos his house was a filthy pigsty and he smelt funny. Don't miss him, don't miss dating or anything associated with the same. I am quite happy being single again. I'm not on any sites. As I say to anyone who asks, 'not dating, not looking'. I cut D out of my life completely, I don't know how long ago this was, but I've spent some time healing. He got married a few months ago, to the girl he said he wasn't engaged to. Funny that. I could ruin his marriage, but I won't. I don't care about him any more.
Things are certainly changing for me. It's a roller-coaster ride sometimes, but I'm looking forward and embracing the unknown.
Wednesday, August 19, 2015
Sparking the writing flame
I have hardly written a story/poem since I was 17 (I'm not counting blogging here, as that is real, not fictional), thanks to my harshly critical mother. Lately the flame has started to rebuild and I am bringing myself to begin putting words on 'paper' again.
I want my protagonist to be a female. A strong, vibrant, resourceful female who is not a lesbian lol.
Came across this...
http://sachablack.co.uk/2015/08/17/warning-these-5-points-will-help-you-create-awesome-female-villains/
Worth a read, I think.
I want my protagonist to be a female. A strong, vibrant, resourceful female who is not a lesbian lol.
Came across this...
http://sachablack.co.uk/2015/08/17/warning-these-5-points-will-help-you-create-awesome-female-villains/
Worth a read, I think.
6 Dirty, Dirty Habits Way Too Many People Around You Have
I definitely find this just a little disturbing
6 Dirty, Dirty Habits Way Too Many People Around You Have
6 Dirty, Dirty Habits Way Too Many People Around You Have
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