I've been surfing

hmmm, let me collect my thoughts for a moment...
(pause)
Well, tonight I have been surfing the blogweb and discovering ever more blogs to read. It is the initial discovery that takes the longest as you read some of the blogger's most recent posts to get a feel for the person and their style of writing, before deciding if this is a blog you would like to visit regularly. Me, I love to read about other people's lives, they seem so much more interesting than mine.

Tonight I have selected a few for you to pop over to...
Tales from the Dadside...Yay, a blokes point of view of parenting, and he's funny too, what a bonus!

Whiskey in my sippy cup...this lady is entertaining.

Dancing with Frogs...a favourite of mine that I think I have mentioned before, sorry.

Well, that's a start for you anyway.

This one got me thinking about how I use my time after kidlets have gone to bed (usually reading blogs and housework). I can't say I am completely unsatisfied with how I spend my time currently, although I am sure it could be put to better use. That being said, I always knit or sew while watching tv as I can't bear to be plonked on the lounge with nothing to do (watching tv is NOT doing something IMO).

hmmm, speaking of tv's that reminded me of an email that DH and I have been passing back and forth. I asked him (via email), completely out of the blue, 'If you bought a house where would it be and what would it look like?' His reply was 'I could live anywhere, almost, preferably near a large centre. It wouldn't matter what it looked like as long as it had a big yard and wasn't derelict, and not around too much housing commission.' Then he asked why I was asking. I replied 'Wanted to see if we wanted the same thing. Nope. No surprise there though.' I think it sounds kinda mean when I read back, but honestly, his blinkered behaviour is really getting to me. He keeps acting like our relationship is perfect when that couldn't be further from the truth. By the time he left for his deployment we were barely speaking to each other! I just don't get it.

Anyway, he sent back an email asking me for my answer and I pretty much copied and pasted some of this, clearly it is rather more detailed than his. I included the bit about the unappealing tv. And so I get this back...'Hi, well what can I say? I cant argue with you on most of it, but if this dream/plan involves me you must know that I will always love my sport and will always want FOX and a big TV.' OMG, he still does not get, after 9 YEARS, that I hate the goddamn tv, that I think it has been a big factor in the difficulties that our marriage has faced. Excuse me while I go stomp around for a bit...
(pause)
OK, I feel better now (and less stiff too, I was creaking when I stood up). Yes, the tv is a MAJOR part of DH's life. Instead of going for a walk with his family, or going on some sort of family outing (because god forbid we would actually want to spend time with him when he hasn't been home all week), he prefers to spend from Friday evening to Sunday evening parked on the couch watching the goddamn sport (my apologies for using such a strong word). I HATE it, and that IS a strong word too, and I say it with full meaning. He spends NO quality time with us as a family, if we want to talk to him we have to wait for an ad break. What kind of example is this setting for our kids? How is this behaviour supposed to keep our marriage strong (well, in this case, stop it from falling apart at the seams). I am sorry, but the TV has very little future in my life. I sure as heck did not want a relationship with a man and his tv. When we got together I thought I was in a relationship with a different person, as I discussed here (you need to get past the grr factor of that post first).

I don't want to talk about work today, but I will. I got there early this morning and instead of sitting at my desk until 9am, I went and spent nearly an hour tidying messes and putting books away. Then I sat at my desk. I had been there for about ten minutes when a colleague walked in and said, 'Don't you think you should be out helping to shelf tidy?' OMG that made me MAD! I said 'I have just spent the last hour shelving and tidying', she was surprised because she hadn't seen me doing it (like I advertise everything I do in this job...whatever *sarcasm*). So she said 'Well, the children's area is still untidy, would you come out and tidy it please' I think she saw the black cloud descend upon my head as I stood up and went out, because she didn't speak to me again all morning. I overheard her say later to our supervisor something about people not helping with shelf tidying and I hope she wasn't referring to me because I just don't need that b*shit. I work just as hard as everyone and have the added disadvantage that my kid's area is ALWAYS messy. It is the one thing I dislike about this job (makes me want to cry sometimes).

Anyway, I learnt a valuable lesson - no matter how much I think I am doing the right thing by getting in and getting the work done, if there is no-one else around to see me doing it they will assume it was already done, and that I am not contributing, therefore I must not do anything to do with shelving or cleaning up before at least two or three people get there and see me doing it! Wow, does that makes sense?! More simply - I stay at my desk if I get in early, and go out to do tidying later, with other people.


Yet another night where I told myself I would go to bed before 10pm, and it is now after 11pm! I will go and read for half an hour, I am reading Clive Cussler. He is good, but not as exciting as Matthew Reilly's books.

It is raining tonight. I love the sound of rain on a tin roof. I remember lying in bed as a tween, listening to it and loving it even then. Definitely have to have a tin roof on my dream home.