Well, my older two are now safely depostied at my mothers. I am sure they will enjoy themselves and I hope that they will be happy to see me next Saturday.
Today was a 'me' day. These days are VERY rare, as usually I am working or cleaning house, and while i might get an hour 'me' time here and there, it is not like having a whole day stretching before me filled with numerous possibilities. Some of my day was mapped out for me, I had a doctors appointment and I had to pop into work for ten minutes.
After dropping DS3 off at day care I headed up to Spotlight - large fabric superstore. We have very little in the way of fabric stores in my local area so this was the place of choice. I was after some lining for a shirt I am making for a wedding in August, this was easy to find, so I was in and out in 20 minutes. Then dropped into work. Then I was free for a while!
I went and had two inches chopped off my hair, so it is back to sitting just above my collar. The feeling of having my hair washed was divine. Then off to the video store to check out the latest offerings. I had thought I might see a movie at the cinemas, but decided that I really couldn't be bothered wasting 2 hours in the shopping centre and paying a ridiculous amount for a movie I might not like. So video store instead. I hired 'Jumper' and 'Alien vs Predator 2: Requiem'. Now, I am a romance kind of girl usually, but there was just nothing that appealed to me, and these were ones I had been wanting to see for a while.
So home I went, put 'Jumper' on and set up to cut out the shirt I am making. I am using a beautiful grey silk chiffon and lining it with the stuff I bought today. I enjoyed 'Jumper' but felt there were some odd gaps in the story. I think I will go and read the book now. I am saving AvP2 for tonight.
Then back out to see the doctor. I am now on strong antibiotics for what he has diagnosed as Bronchitis (he did this by only looking at my throat and hearing me cough! Amazing powers of deduction). We discussed the tingling I have been getting in my ring finger and he decided to refer me to a neurologist to see if there has been nerve damage of some sort. In the meantime I am keeping a closer eye on when the tingling gets worse (when I am driving an use that arm, when I am carrying something, when I have my hand bag on that shoulder, just for starters).
Home again to complete the cutting of the shirt and then jumped on to the computer for an hour to catch up. Which is where you find me now! I am about to go and collect DS3 from daycare, it will be nice to have him home in the day light.
I chatted to my best friend last night. She is struggling a little with her new baby. I wish I had taken my holiday now, rather than at the birth, as now is when she could use the help. Although, with three kids tagging along I am not sure I would have been much help. Anyway, I encouraged her to seek assistance from Tresillian and she will hopefully do that. I opened up with her a little and discussed DH with her. I generally keep things to myself, and write on here, but I just wanted to share with a physical being. She was supportive and I appreciated her taking time to hear me.
I only have a couple of people I call my 'friend', the one I spoke to last night, and another who I have neglected badly, yet she still counts me as one of her two best friends. When she told me this I was ashamed, because I haven't been a good friend to her, and I said that I didn't deserve to be regarded so highly. She brushed me off, but it makes me realise that my perception of a relationship isn't necessarily the same as someone elses, and that I need to give the right people more time. I feel blessed to have the friends that I do.
Spending time with mum yesterday was nice. While driving home I mused on the fact that I feel I am more like my mother than I ever thought I might be. I remember denying the similarities countless times to my ex partner and my DH, simply because at the time I did not want to be like her. Now that my relationship with my mother has developed and matured I am not so bothered by that comparison. She has some admirable qualities (and some not so admirable, but aren't we human after all?). But I find our lives running strangely parallel - she has raised three boys alone, still has two at home, and I am pratically doing that now. She subscribes to a simpler life in some ways, she believes in independence and being self-sufficient and she has always made do with what she has. She has always been a hard worker. I know she is proud of me, I can hear it in her voice, it's all I ever wanted from her - to know that she was proud of me. Perhaps if/when DH and I separate then maybe she will be a little sad, it is doubtful that I will stay in this city due to living costs, but I think that with the skills I have that maybe finding work won't be so hard (even if I decide to take a break for a couple of years).
I am off to get my lovely DS3 now. Today he didn't cry at all!!!!
...had issues posting this so I am adding to it now (2 hrs later) and will hope it posts this time!
I decided today was the day I would pop back to DS3's previous daycare to say 'Hi'. I wanted to see if I missed them, or if DS3 missed them. No, we didn't. It was nice to visit, but I was glad he wasn't going there any more, and he was happy to say 'hi' and have a cuddle and a little play with his old mates, but he was just as happy to leave too. I feel more secure in the decision I made. I also can't get over how much less fuel I am using! Instead of going through a tank a week I am going through just over half! Very pleased about that.
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