Dear Husband (could use other words)

Apparently your email arrived in my inbox at 3:22am, so no, I did not know you were calling tonight. I can't access Hotmail at work and this afternoon I basically came home, met the babysitter, and left for the trivia night - which I did talk about on your blog (I told you that I was doing the trivia, *insert tone dripping with sarcasm* thank you so much for asking , it went great, a big success that I helped to create *end sarcasm*). I didn't appreciate the 'where were you at this time of night' comment, nor did I appreciate you implying that I am spending your money. I hope you notice that I deposited the cheque - I hadn't done it because I only received it this week. I did not appreciate you asking me, in a previous email, if I had spent it (insert rude word here).

Regarding money can I point out that you expected me to save up for the car rego + all repairs (the car has an oil leak, the central locking needs repairing, the back seat belts may need replacing, the left hand blinker isn't working, and that is just what we know about), plus I have to save for my visit to support my best friend when she has her new baby (and who actually wants to know how my day was and listens to the answer), I also pay money on all the bills every week. So I find it a bit rude when I ask you about a bit extra for Will's birthday and you grumble. How about instead of putting aside the money for the holiday, I use that for Will instead and then save it up myself or go without something on the trip? Will that satisfy you?

I could add some rude words here, but I won't. I am angry and insulted, not that you care one way or another.

have a nice day

your wife
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Our library ran a Family Trivia tonight. It was my idea and another colleague worked with me on it. It was a roaring success, we had 6 teams, lots of silly prizes and a great prize at the end that had everyone 'oohing'. Everyone said they would like to come again. I was so proud of the work we had done and how well it went. We also ran a Biggest Morning Tea (a fundraiser for the Cancer Council) this week, again my idea and organised/ran it with another colleague's help. It also went well, we had 50 people participate and we raised $200, not bad for a small library.

I am sitting here crying because my husband has never celebrated my successes, big or small. Yet I have celebrated, supported, and been openly proud of him as he pursued his Naval career.

I am so proud of what was achieved this week at work, I would like a pat on the back from my supposed life mate, not the parents who come to my Rhymetime, and not my fellow colleagues. Sometimes I feel like I am living with my mother! She never used to say to me 'good job' and I spent years hoping to hear that from her. We have resolved this and I can now say 'I love you' to her, and she to me, and mean it. But it took 10 years to get there and alot of work on both our parts.

My husband didn't even know what my job entailed until my mum asked me at Christmas last year and I told her my schedule, he just happened to be sitting at the table (I had been in the full-time position for 3 months at that stage). We never talk about my work, he shows no interest in what I do.

This isn't what I signed up for. When I met my husband he was studying at a technical college to be a Teacher's aide. He had dropped out of a Uni degree and opted for this instead. I was studying a degree in Counselling and Human Resources. He told me he was a football coach to young kids, he assisted in a Homework center, and he attended surf life saving, plus he had just left the army due to an injury. So that told me this was a bloke who was interested in kids, was studying to better himself, and cared about people's lives. Gee, I really fooled myself. He was doing the homework center because he was getting paid, when the money dried up, so did he. He quit coaching and surf life saving the year I met him. He completed his course, but never applied for any jobs and ended up working as a kitchen hand just to bring some money in, until three years ago when he joined the Navy. When he is at home he spends most of his free time sitting on the lounge watching sport. We are allowed to talk during ad breaks and we do not get a say in what to watch, unless he has something else to do (like sit on the computer). I had dreamed of him coaching our kids, participating in their lives, but he grumbles when I ask him to bath the toddler, or read a book to the kids, or just occupy them so I can cook dinner (yes, I work all day, come home and get to cook dinner, do housework and get the kids sorted, while he watches tv, joy of joys).

I made a mistake marrying him. We renewed our vows before he left for training three years ago, so I actually made the mistake twice. I feel like a fool. He's forgotten our anniversary the last two years, we have been married for eight years. There are no excuses.