I live in Australia. In Australia if you use child care the government pays you a 30% rebate at the end of the financial year. So, like tax (if you are lucky enough to get some back), this is a way of getting a lump sum that can be tucked away into a nest egg.
DH called last night and, after we had exhausted conversation about the kids, he turned the subject to money. This was fine until he brought up the rebate, his words were 'We've been paying enough for it, we should get some back.' So you, the reader, look at that statement and you think, ok, so what? Weeelll...I work full-time, and in order for me to work full-time I put Toddler into child care.
Now, DH wasn't real bothered whether I worked or not, but one of his bones of contention was that I was only earning enough to pay for child care, petrol, and a little pocket money (that always ended up on the credit card). I had no issue with this as I knew a) I would get a pay rise in the future, b) that the older Toddler got the more his fees would reduce, and, c) importantly for me, I was getting valuable experience in my chosen field. So, with this in mind, I quite willingly and happily pay for all child care fees (although I am very happy to be paying less now that I have moved Toddler from his previous care).
But for some reason DH seems to think that he is entitled to get his hands on the rebate. hhmmmm, well, if I felt differently about us maybe that wouldn't be such an issue, but the fact is, is that I paid the child care fees so that I could work. Now you might argue that he works too, and pays for us to live. Therefore I must point out that if I didn't work we would be on one income, his, and I would probably be spending more because I wouldn't be so busy as I am now.
I realise I probably sound like a biatch. But he is a stingy so and so, or massively wasteful, there is no real in between with him. I actually want to own a home one day and I want to save a deposit up. It's not going to happen if we keep living from pay packet to pay packet.
I have worked out the minimum that myself and the boys could live on if DH and I go our separate ways. I have also looked into what government benefits we would receive. It matches up pretty well, there wouldn't be much money left over, but maybe that is not such a bad thing. I figure the boys can enjoy all the materialistic crap when they come to DH's place since I don't want it in mine. Will they suffer, hmmm, depends on what ends up being really important to them. I know they like family time, but there is precious little of that at the moment. Going back to basics would be an adjustment for all of us, and maybe a good one. I envision us working in the garden, taking delight in the world that God created, or playing games like chasies or Twister, rather than parked in front of some electronic thing. Maybe Tween wouldn't be so pleased about that, but maybe he just doesn't realise what a good thing it could be. Real fun can take some practice, lol.
I am a member of Simple Savings, an Australian website that encourages careful living and provides a supportive network for people who believe in a simple life style, or who want to do good things for the planet. It led me to Down to Earth, a blog written by the wife of a couple who have made the choice to take the simple path and gain great enjoyment from it. This woman has the life I want.
I can have it too.
Money and stuff is not the be all and end all of things. I can't take any of it with me when I die. I don't want to be remembered for the gifts I bought, I want to be remembered for the part that I played in people's lives, including my own children. I want to live on in memories, as that Librarian who led the future prime minister (lol) to this book, or helped Joe Blogg get an 'A' in that assignment; as the mother who had time to give a much needed hug, who was fun to be around.
I believe I can have this too.
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