birthday? what birthday?

Well, my birthday was nothing much. The kids forgot. I got 'Happy Birthday' wishes from all my work colleagues. We shared a cheesecake (I had a small piece).

In my brilliance (and desire to have something resembling a birthday celebration) I had decided to go out for dinner with the 3 kids, to the Food Court upstairs at the shopping centre where the library is located. Yay. A food court is where many many people gather and gorge themselves on food that is really not good for them, unless they make careful choices. I had chinese. The kids had fish and chips. Toddler cried off and on from when I picked him up from kindy, he was in a foul mood. The older two were ok, but careless with some purchases I had made that came close to getting stuffed there and then. I felt a migraine coming on. Dinner was cut short after Toddler spilt half a bottle of apple juice in his lap. *sigh* Happy 31st Birthday. I went to bed as soon as I got Toddler to bed.

Other positives...
- one of my best friends, and my favourite babysitter, texted to wish me Happy Birthday
- my oldest younger brother remembered
- a friend who is pregnant took time out from her busy day and spent some time with me. She also gave me some delicious perfume, a low fat cup cake and sung me 'Happy Birthday'. Nice!

Next year I think I should stay home and hide under my blankets. Where ever home is/will be. I didn't get either of the apartments. I asked the agents and all they could say was that they hand the applications over to the owner and he/she decides from there. Not helpful at all.

Ex-DH has already organised to get a new Internet provider, as he informed me via email. I wrote back and basically said 'hang on, I am not out yet, wasn't that a bit quick off the mark?' He wrote back to say it won't be hooked up before the end of October and so what if there is a bit of overlap. Umm, if I am still here in 6 months then that is a big overlap! He just has no concept of the rental market in this city.

Had a chat to best friend tonight and she suggested I get my resume out to country libraries now just so my name is out there. I am a little shy of doing this just yet. I do understand where she is coming from, but for me it feels like if I do that I have already decided I am leaving. I told her I wanted to give it six months, and then if I wasn't having any success finding a place (or ex-DH has pushed for me to go) then I will consider leaving. Maybe I should just give it till after Christmas. Anyway, I have started watching the job boards again. Dammit, I don't want to leave. What if we get the toy library grant, what if the new person doesn't want anything to do with it? argh.

I want to cry.

On a more positive note, I went to a WW meeting today during my lunch break. It was quite good. I weighed heavier there than I do at home, so that sucked, but I did keep to my points limit today (yay me), dranks lots more water than I usually do (two glasses instead of one, lol, no, it was more than that) and didn't feel hungry. I am on day 2 of NO chocolate and not missing it, so the Chromium must be doing it's job. Now I just need to keep up the good work.