What a Year it Has Been

Well, I know that this blog has been going for more than a year, but it is a couple of days past a year that my X-H and I 'officially' went our separate ways, and it is a year since I met D, and it is a year since I began my journey of self-discovery.

And what a year it has been. A year of joy and laughter, of emotional and physical highs and lows. A year where I learnt things about myself that I had forgotten, and things that I never knew. A year in which I took time to smell the roses, then raced to beat the clock.

It has been an unforgettable time of my life, and in talking about it with others I have inspired one or two to begin their own journey.

I know that my journey of self-discovery has not ended, not by any means. Nor do I want it to end. Confronting myself has enabled me to become genuinely confident, more likely to put myself out there to try something or to meet someone new. That is not to say that I do not have my moments of hanging back and observing, but where is the fun in that?

I am glad to say that I still like myself. That I have made some interesting choices this year, but none that I really regret. That I feel more solid within myself. Even though there has been points where I felt like I would dissolve into nothingness, I have still come out the other side.

I will never, ever regret meeting D. I still believe he is my soul's other half, but I do not need him in my life as a partner. I do believe that a soul mate is a 'person' with whom you have a deep connection, regardless of whether they are male or female, or human for that matter. So I still love D, with all his faults. I do not mind that I love him, I do not mind that he is not my partner, I do not mind that he lives his life and I live mine. We are in touch and that is enough for me. I have come a long way mentally since I met him. I will forever treasure those few weeks in the beginning where anything was a possibility.

I am missing my children. X-H unexpectedly took them on holidays a week earlier (and therefore for a week longer) and I was not mentally ready to say goodbye. I have wandered aimlessly around the house a bit, but have also been quite productive too, simply to keep boredom and loneliness at bay. I have spoken to them on the phone, but it is their kisses and cuddles and neediness that I miss.

Took Teen to the optometrist before he went away and he now needs glasses. He is short-sighted like me, but only a little. Well, enough to have him squinting to read things. He also needs root canal work apparently, X-H took Teen to the dentist a couple of days after they went away, because Teen had a bad toothache, and the dentist announced that one of Teen's molars is screwed. The Dentist got Teen sorted out temporarily so I can deal with it when he gets home.

No work as yet, I have applied for 5 jobs. I am leaving applying for a cleaning job to the last minute as it is my last resort. I am going away to my best friends house on Thursday, for a week, so if I hear nothing between now and then I guess I will apply for a cleaning job when I get back. I just need to have a little bit more money coming in.

I am watching Melbourne Storm play Parramatta Eels (Rugby League). It is the only game I have watched all season, this is the grand final (WOO! go Parra!!!!). I have been 'following' Parramatta Eels since I was about 10 yrs old. A friend and I used to make friendship bands in the team colours and one day I just decided that the Gold and Blue of Parra was my favourite and so I have followed them since.