Moving right along....

My apologies for being absent for so long.

You may recall this post from June. Well, unfortunately I never became smitten, nor did I swoon, and even worse (in my opinion), I did not lust.

D2 is a lovely guy. He wanted to treat me like a princess. He wanted to spend alot of time with me, and with my boys. He wanted to make sure I knew how he felt, by telling me at least 10 times a day (hang on, let me think...5 texts in the 40 mins it took me to get to work, 2 texts by morning tea, at least 1 by lunch, two more by the time I left work, and then 3 or 4 before bed time...hmm that adds up to 13ish...every weekday). He wanted to talk constantly about how badly he was treated by his ex, and how incredibly lovely and wonderful and gorgeous I was. He wanted to do things for me to make my life easier, and to watch me doing the things that I do to get through each day. He could not bear to be apart from me.

God that makes me tired reading it. But still, he was/is a lovely guy. He will make someone very happy one day...but not me.

I ended it this Thursday just gone. Lay there in bed with him and said it was over. Told him that after nearly 2 months I still had not developed any feelings for him other than friendship. Told him that it was best if he got his things and went that day. He did not cry (he has in the past, when he thought I was annoyed at him, which I was, and the crying did not help), he did not cry then, but he was unhappy.

I felt relief.

The realisation that I must end it had come to me the day before, Wednesday. D2 had met me for lunch at my work (he would have done this every day if I had allowed it) and we discussed various things to do with his house and work and ex. Then he pointed out that now that I would no longer be working (more about that shortly) we could go for walks together and spend alot more time together. When I heard that the thought crossed my mind that I could not think of anything worse than spending MORE time with him (I was seeing him most days and every weekend). I spent the afternoon and evening considering that thought and realised that I had to end it and sooner rather than later. If I felt that way after 7 or so weeks then there was no future for us.

So Thursday morning it was.

He is mostly out of my life. He is keen to stay friends but I am keeping my distance at the moment. He texts me now and then through the day and sometimes I answer, and sometimes I don't.

Work...
do you recall that I was on a three month contract. Well, me and 3 others in our team were in the same position. Turns out that E-Services only got funding for one more permanent position, and I did not get it (the best man won and all that). So 3 of us are now out of a job as of 24th August.

I actually don't care too much. I was stressing about how I was going to pay my rent, but then I got my tax return and so I put most of that towards rent. That way I have at least a month to either get part-time work, or get a handle on my finances. I only want part-time work, I am concerned about mum's health and keen to be around a bit more for the kids, plus it would give me time to keep on top of house work and such like. Anyway, I am just chilling now and feeling fine about life at the moment.

Toddler, my baby, turns 3 tomorrow. He is such an awesome little bloke. We have just started toilet training and I feel quite positive about it. He loves to sing and dance and read and he makes me smile and laugh every single day.

Teen is...a teen, lol. He wants to sleep all day and stay up all night, he smells and he is awful to No.2. But he is good to me, he still hugs and kisses me, and we get on quite well most of the time.

No.2....hmmm...bit challenging at the moment, but I recall that Teen was the same at the same age. Still doing well at school and is getting more interested in reading.

We all have push bikes now (other than Toddler, who will double with me), so in the near future we are going riding. Could be a good experience...or not, lol.