yeh, not feeling top of the world today. Went to see the counsellor on Tuesday, sat in the waiting room for an hour with no sign of him, and left. Spent the last half hour of the waiting justifying staying there by thinking about how i really will not be able to fit in another visit any time soon. Had to give up tho, had my toddler coming home within the following half hour and was not interested in rushing the session. So I have to forge ahead 'alone' so to speak.
Been trying to work out what might have triggered this current state of mind. I told a whopper of a lie recently and it is really sitting badly with me, so that could be part of it. Went on a date last night, a second date, but third time we have met, this is with M. He is a nice guy, very gentlemanly and funny online, but in person he is rather irritating and i could see that i probably was not going to see him again. So maybe that was part of it too.
Work is fine, I am a little bored and I have not been back a week yet. I guess it is up to me to spice it up, so to speak. Got a few training sessions coming up so that should make things interesting. I have to run some training sessions as a result of the training i am going to, should finally get me that pay rise, lol. I am looking forward to seeing the kiddies next week and singing again.
My time spent with S is going well, we have been spending at least one day together for the last 6 or 7 weeks. Recently we had a chat and he has told me he is not looking to settle down at this point. However we talk at least twice a day on the phone, spend an hour chatting on line, text through the day, he has met my mum (she likes him), and my ex (that was funny, neither my ex and I were expecting S to be there and ex was very unsettled, managed to pull together enough to spend five or so minutes discussing bikes with S). hmmmm. Well, I enjoy his company and we are friends, and for now I shall be happy with that.
But maybe that too is adding to my emotional state. I heard that bloody Nickelback song today that is every lonely persons anthem....ummm....Gotta Be Somebody. I used to sing that at the top of my lungs and now I just want to hide under a rock when i hear it. So I don;t think that helped today.
sigh
Toddler is gorgeous. We have been watching Playschool Nursery Rhymes over and over again this week, his favourite is Jack and Jill. When Jack is going up the hill Toddler says 'Careful!', then when Jack falls down (yet again, lol), Toddler sighs and says 'Fix it with paper!'. He is such a character. We read a Bob the Builder book that is about Bob having a birthday. So Toddler doesn't sing 'Bob the Builder, can we fix it', he sings ' Bob the Builder, birthday cake' over and over, lol. He also likes to run around in circles singing Jingle Bells. Hmmm, he sings alot. He is very sweet and very cheeky and I adore him.
My older two are at my mum's this week. It means this week has been rather less stressful and much quieter. I will be having all of them pretty much full time as of next week, it will be somewhat challenging and I will need to keep a close eye on my emotions and make sure I get enough sleep.
No comments:
Post a Comment