Part of my need to go offline was because D had been in touch with me again. Basically he was begging me to give him another chance. I needed to take some time out to consider it.
Lying is my number 1 deal breaker. As much as he says he cares about me and wants me in his life, I do not know whether I can get past the lies he told in order to push me away in the first place. I do not know whether I want to risk being hurt by him again. To add to this confusion is the fact that while he has professed his feelings for me, he still does not call or message or text me when he says he is going to. There is always an excuse.
I deserve better.
I have had some discussion with him over how I am feeling towards him and what he has done. He has expressed hurt that I have been meeting other people (I had to laugh at that). We are yet to make a clean break. There has been alot of damage done to my trust and the distance is not helping. I don't know whether we can have a future together.
I have been chatting to a couple of people, and have met one in the last week or so. Not interested in a relationship with this man (he was actually trying to get his ex back and I provided a shoulder for him to cry on), but enjoyed his company. Another person I am talking to, M, I am looking forward to meeting in the future.
I am not sleeping well. I am not eating well. I have still lost weight - 11kgs in 12 weeks, but I am not making any effort in that area at the moment. My dance classes have finished for the year, I have already booked and paid for next years, they start at the end of January.
I passed my theory test for my bike license easily and have spent about 4 hours riding around the back streets of my area getting a feel for the bike. I am just about ready to take it home (I have been storing it at my ex's place). The first time I sat on it I stalled a number of times before I even got it oout of the driveway, this is because I did not know where the friction point on the clutch was, lol, and was letting the clutch out too fast. I am at the point now where it is not a problem. I love riding.
The kids and I celebrated Christmas yesterday because I do not have them for Christmas this year. We built lego all morning, ate lots of bad foods, had turkey and chocolate saucy pudding for lunch/dinner and veged all afternoon. It was a nice day. X is taking them up the coast to visit one of his brothers for Christmas, then I get them back on the 27th. I am working the 29th and 30th, and heading off, with the kids, to my best friends place on the 31st, for a week. It is the highlight of my holidays.
Lying is my number 1 deal breaker. As much as he says he cares about me and wants me in his life, I do not know whether I can get past the lies he told in order to push me away in the first place. I do not know whether I want to risk being hurt by him again. To add to this confusion is the fact that while he has professed his feelings for me, he still does not call or message or text me when he says he is going to. There is always an excuse.
I deserve better.
I have had some discussion with him over how I am feeling towards him and what he has done. He has expressed hurt that I have been meeting other people (I had to laugh at that). We are yet to make a clean break. There has been alot of damage done to my trust and the distance is not helping. I don't know whether we can have a future together.
I have been chatting to a couple of people, and have met one in the last week or so. Not interested in a relationship with this man (he was actually trying to get his ex back and I provided a shoulder for him to cry on), but enjoyed his company. Another person I am talking to, M, I am looking forward to meeting in the future.
I am not sleeping well. I am not eating well. I have still lost weight - 11kgs in 12 weeks, but I am not making any effort in that area at the moment. My dance classes have finished for the year, I have already booked and paid for next years, they start at the end of January.
I passed my theory test for my bike license easily and have spent about 4 hours riding around the back streets of my area getting a feel for the bike. I am just about ready to take it home (I have been storing it at my ex's place). The first time I sat on it I stalled a number of times before I even got it oout of the driveway, this is because I did not know where the friction point on the clutch was, lol, and was letting the clutch out too fast. I am at the point now where it is not a problem. I love riding.
The kids and I celebrated Christmas yesterday because I do not have them for Christmas this year. We built lego all morning, ate lots of bad foods, had turkey and chocolate saucy pudding for lunch/dinner and veged all afternoon. It was a nice day. X is taking them up the coast to visit one of his brothers for Christmas, then I get them back on the 27th. I am working the 29th and 30th, and heading off, with the kids, to my best friends place on the 31st, for a week. It is the highlight of my holidays.
No comments:
Post a Comment