Sparking the writing flame

I have hardly written a story/poem since I was 17 (I'm not counting blogging here, as that is real, not fictional), thanks to my harshly critical mother. Lately the flame has started to rebuild and I am bringing myself to begin putting words on 'paper' again.

I want my protagonist to be a female. A strong, vibrant, resourceful female who is not a lesbian lol.

Came across this...

http://sachablack.co.uk/2015/08/17/warning-these-5-points-will-help-you-create-awesome-female-villains/

Worth a read, I think.

6 Dirty, Dirty Habits Way Too Many People Around You Have

I definitely find this just a little disturbing



6 Dirty, Dirty Habits Way Too Many People Around You Have

Stomping my feet and having a little cry

Feeling really down and frustrated right now. Took myself off to the Dr about my incredibly painful left heel. I've been ignoring it for months, then in the lead up to nursing prac I went and saw a podiatrist who incorrectly diagnosed the problem and did not help me.

So off to the Dr I went. It's been diagnosed as a calcaneal stress fracture. I know I did it running. Too much, too soon as always (f***ing idiot). So I am supposed to be non-weight bearing for 6-8 wks. Never mind that I have nursing prac in a bit over a week. Told the Dr about it and he suggested I do my prac on crutches. Yeah....no. I will self pain medicate and be on my feet for 8 f***ing hours, 3 days per week for two weeks. Almost in tears over the whole thing as the pain and inconvenience could have been avoided. Just like my high blood pressure, and my weight, I could have resolved it long ago.

I also discussed incontinence with the Dr. Yeh. Embarrassing much? :-/ But the issue I have is worsening and needs to be resolved (nurses don't get many pee breaks).

My day improved when I met a friend for coffee and then we went off to the movies. We had each other giggling all afternoon.

Then...I get home, there's a letter from the Landlord. I assume it's telling me I'm due for an inspection. Nope. It was a letter telling me that I have to move out within 3 months. I've been in this house for 4 and a half yrs. I love it's location. I like my neighbours. I love my small boys' school. I don't want to move and it bloody well sucks that our time here is at an end.

Meh.

3 strikes and I'm out

On to the next date. This time with B, who appeared intelligent and funny via text.

First date, I'm kept waiting, but he has the decency to text to let me know he's running late. He turns up wearing pretty casual clothes and thongs. Although he is 6' 2", he slouches as he walks, so seems shorter. I wave and call out hello as he comes closer, and then he opens his mouth to reply. Oh sweet Lordy Jesus. Meth Mouth. Cannot call it anything else. I try to shrug it off because I've liked his brain so far, but all the while my mind is ticking, because you don't get teeth like that (or a lack of teeth) without some serious drug abuse, or long time poor dental hygiene.

We walk along for about 30mins, chatting about various things. He's unemployed, but had previously worked for 13 yrs in the metal industry. He has a son who is in the custody of B's mother (this really ought to have been a red flag moment). We stopped for coffee and chatted some more. In setting up the meeting, I had made sure that time was limited, as I wanted to have a valid reason for leaving. I have to say, I enjoyed his company. He was pretty nicely spoken, reads interesting books, didn't smell bad. Didn't have a good relationship with his dad, but was very much a mummy's boy. I decided that it wouldn't hurt to continue getting to know him so I asked him if he'd like to see a movie later that week. He said yes.

Yes, the teeth bothered me. He brought them up in conversation and gave me the impression that it was because of a genetic condition. I accepted that, with reservations. It just did not sit quite right.

Next date. We went and had milkshakes before the movies. He held my hand. We talked. Watched the movie. He stole a kiss outside the cinemas (unexpected and not encouraged, but ok). Talked some more. Went up to a lookout and sat watching ships come in for awhile. It was nice. It didn't feel pressured. He had brought up sex a couple of times and I made it clear I wasn't in a rush to go there. He seemed fine with that. Drug use is mentioned but he gives the impression that it wasn't a long term thing. I have my doubts.

I drop him off at his halfway house (yeh. Red flag number 2). He couldn't drive because of being drunk while driving multiple times (red flag number 3). Of course it was the ex's fault. He texts me an hour or so after our 2nd date and tells me he's fallen for me (sigh. Red flag number 4).

Texts are not explicit, but he talks 'sexy' more. I sigh. He says he loves me. I think 'for real? how on earth?'

Date 3. I have to go buy a gazebo and I invite him to come along for the ride. I pick him up. His hand goes on my knee. I can't decide if I mind or not so I leave it. We go find a gazebo. We go for lunch at a food court. He starts talking about one day when we move in together and various things along that line. I laugh it off because, seriously, it's the 3rd date, and it's not much of a date. He has a little whine about how busy I am this coming weekend and how it's hard to juggle things when you have kids (yeh, I know all about that).

I drop him off after lunch.

So, at that stage I like him a bit. No sparks, but I don't expect that anymore. He's nice, and courteous, and ok looking (besides the teeth, which are fixable). I think it could be fine to keep dating, but I'm going to have to tell him to chill out as he's thinking way too far ahead.

I'm at work on the weekend. Long hours, pretty full on. On the Sat he tells me he's having a bad day and doesn't feel like talking, so I leave him to it, don't hear from him again that day or the next morning. The next day I am worried about conserving ph battery so I turn it off at 9. I turn it back on at 11 to find 2 missed calls and 3 messages with him whining about me not answering my ph (along the lines of, 'fine, you don't want to talk to me, whatever'). I ignore all of it and am pretty annoyed by his attitude. I wasn't expecting to hear from him and he knew I was working. He then turns up outside my work, with his mum and son! I wave hello and continue what I am doing. He doesn't come in and talk to me and when I look back up, they have gone.

Right. I am done. I do not need another child. I do not want drama. I text him and say that my ph had been turned off and his comments were childish. I told him he needed to sort out his drama before he dates and that I was not comfy meeting his family after only 3 dates.

He chucked a small tanty.

It was all a little too intense for me.

I think I'll forget about dating for a while. 3 strikes and I'm out.

Another dating fail

I'm so over dating, or maybe I'm over thinking it.

Didn't get anywhere with G. Wasn't an issue that we'd met before, just didn't come of anything.

Started chatting to S. A stay-at-home dad with a young son. Works part-time. Chatted for a couple of weeks before meeting.

We went on a morning play date. I took my youngest and met S's little boy. It went fine, I thought (in comparison to other meet ups I've had). I spent a couple of hours listening to S tell me about his past, with the occasional interjection from myself. I'm used to this, every guy I've ever met has a tendency to just talk about themselves. Our boys got on fine and enjoyed the playground.

I felt the conversation went well. Nothing negative. I was non-judgmental, considerate, empathetic, interested in his kid, blah blah blah. Didn't hear from him till late that night. He responded to my text about enjoying the day and then said he'd thought I was hot. I told him that I hadn't realised he thought that, he asked why, and I said I wasn't sure, I just laughed it off. Then nothing. Sent a good morning text like we've been doing all week, didn't get a reply for hours and then it was just 'hi'.

So I spent some time thinking about it today, about why I hadn't got the impression that he thought I was anything special. I realised it was because he hadn't shown any interest in me and my life. Sure we'd talked and I'd been able to tell him something about myself, but not because he asked.

I think I can strike this one off and go back to not bothering again.

I just don't get it tho. I am a nice person. I am a good person. I am not perfect. Why is it so damn hard to find someone who can enjoy my company, have a conversation with me, show interest in me as a person?

It just feels too hard.

Oh, and D messaged me out of the blue saying he was thinking about us having sex.

....whatever...

This could be awkward, or fate....

So, in this post back in 2009 I talk about chatting to G. In the next post I have met him and been put off by his forward behaviour.

Well. Without realising that we'd met before, I contacted him on a dating website last week. We've been chatting quite happily via the site for quite a few days now and I had the growing suspicion that we had met before. I've confirmed that by finding out his name, age, and by my previous post. He still has the 2 older boys, but he now also has a 2.5 yr old of whom he has shared care. He told me that he's been single for about 3 yrs, so I'm guessing the pregnancy was a surprise and that he wasn't with the mum for that long before it happened.

Do I tell him that I think we've met before? I daresay it would come out at some point and he may have already realised it. Awkward. Since I fobbed him off before do I continue it now? My impression of him is still that he is a nice guy, has his head screwed on right.

Ok, so I've messaged him to say I think we might have met before. Now to see where that goes...

Thought Provoking

I love conversations with people that get me thinking about things that I may or may not have had an interest in previously.

So tonight I was taking my bro's fiance home (new development, she's rather sweet and quiet, be interesting to see how it goes) and we were discussing her tutoring work. This is not something I had ever seriously considered doing myself for money, but I have done it in the past as a volunteer. We were discussing a client of hers who is 5 yrs old and is not going well with her literacy at school.

So my first thought was - hang on, she's 5, give the kid a break. However, we are now heading into Term 4 here in Oz, and she has not grasped a number of sight words that would be reasonably expected by now.

I asked how she was with her alphabet, since that is the basis for our reading. 'Not confident' was the response.

I asked if she had gone to preschool, and Em did not know. I asked if the parents read to the child, again, Em didn't know.

I'm not setting out to criticise Em's methods. I don't know how she structures her lessons. I'm not sure she has much experience working with small children. Therefore, our conversation became more about sharing ideas for keeping the child interested in learning.

I came away from it feeling quite invigorated about the topic of literacy and tutoring, and realising that it IS something I would be well qualified to tutor in, if that is the way I go.

Literacy begins at home. It begins with your interactions with your baby, your responses to her first sounds, the way you copy her when she moves her mouth (I have boys, it's nice to write about girls for a change :-) ). I used to talk to all my children when they were babies - 'look at the tree!' 'That's a bird' etc etc. Literacy is built upon language. A child benefits from hearing words spoken, from descriptions of things.

I exposed my children to books from around 6 mths. Board books are a wonderful thing! Again, it is your interaction with your child. Point to the picture, say the word. This is how the child learns that words are associated with things. It enables them to create pictures in their head of the thing, then find the word associated with that picture. I see a chair, I know it is a chair, I can associate the word to that thing.

The English language is such a convoluted, complex, mess of synonyms and antonyms and similes and....blergh! It's awful. Awful to explain to a 5 or 6 yr old that yes, that is the word lead (reed), but it's also the word lead (red). Arggghh. It's an amazing and wonderful thing that we are able to wrap our ever developing brains around it and have it make sense.

One of the more important aspects of learning to read is repetition. Repetition can drive us adults slightly barmy, but small children really do get a lot from it. It's how they learn routines for starters, how they learn to dress themselves, feed themselves, and so on. Repetition is another word for PRACTICE!

I've noticed that some children today (one of my own included) don't seem to cope with the need for repetition. They are too easily disappointed when they don't get something right the first time, too quick to give up. I attended singing lessons for a short time as a child, and the main part I remember is that every time I came in to the lesson I had to show that I had practiced my scales. It was boring, I wanted to get on with the good stuff, but my teacher did not let me. She knew how important practice was.

Anyway, back to thinking about literacy and tutoring. I believe it is important to get an idea of the child's background. I would ask questions like...
- Has your child attended preschool? If yes, did they have a school prep program?
With these questions I want to get an idea of whether the child has been struggling for a while. It may be that she needs glasses and it hasn't been picked up. Possibly there is a learning delay.

- Do you have books in your home? Does anyone in the home enjoy recreational reading?
This will tell me whether books are valued and enjoyed in the home. Lack of books in the home can create a barrier to literacy, but there are ways around this, eg encourage the child to borrow from the school library, label things around the home

- Do you read to your child regularly?
My view is that the parent is the first opportunity for a child to experience language. If the child is not being read to regularly, or at all, then there may be ways to encourage the family to participate in the child's learning.

Schools send home readers home with children. The aim is to have the child read the book with the parent. If a child cannot read, then the parent can read the page, then encourage the child to repeat the words.

In the case of Em's child, I would want more info from the parents about the child's exposure to books. I would assess the child to see how basic her grasp of English was. If it is as poor as it seems, I would then start with letter tracing (the sandpaper letters Montessori schools use are great for this). Children are visual/tactile little people. When babies, they 'feel' everything with their hands and mouth. As they grow they hold things in their hands and move them around, they test things to see what will happen. So from that, I believe a tactile introduction would be a good start. Games are also good. Simple ones that go for only a few minutes at a time, that can be repeated. Also, nursery rhymes. You can clap as you sing so that children learn the rhythm of sentences, it's also an introduction to words with more than one syllable. If you have a book with the rhyme, point to the words as you sing them. This is the kind of program I would do with preschool age children, and that seems to be where her level is.

Start with a foundation and build on that.

hmmmm the word 'thing' has been seriously over used in this post :-/