Update

3rd Feb 2012 measurements

Bust 113

Waist 108

Hips 123

Thighs 66

Arms 39


Current 


Bust 106
Waist 97
Hips 114
Thighs 56
Arms 34


Highest weight 104kg. Current weight 95.5kg. Goal weight 80kg. 


Doing a lot of running these days, have done multiple fun runs ranging from 5k to 10k. I'm not running the whole way, but I'm doing so much better than I was a few months ago. Also doing a bit of strength work. I like the idea of being fit and strong, just don't want to be super skinny. 


Not skating anymore. My head can't handle the pressure and I have massive anxiety about doing contact again (which is odd, cos I loved it, but whatever. Stupid head). Still involved in Derby committee work, love being part of the behind the scenes stuff and seeing how it's growing. I'm excited for the future of our league. 


Kids are good. It's all so much easier than it was a couple of years ago.

Single. Have been since last November. It's not so bad. Occasionally lonely.

Have been off the anti depressants for about 3mths. Some days that's a bad thing :-/ Was an accidental thing, kind of. The meds weren't in stock at my chemist when I needed them and I just never got round to going back. I have learnt that tiredness is a massive factor in my coping ability, so getting enough sleep is a priority. Most of the time I'm fine.

Mar 2 measurements

Bust 111

Waist 103

Hips 119

Thighs 57

Arms 37.5

Current measurements

Bust 110

Waist 100

Hips 118

Thighs 56

Arms 34

another 9.5 cm gone :-) and another kg too, so 8kgs in 9wks

Feb 14th measurements

Bust 112

Waist 107

Hips 119

Thighs 58

Arms 37.5

Current measurements

Bust 111

Waist 103

Hips 119

Thighs 57

Arms 37.5

Have dropped 7kgs as of last week, will weigh again in a couple of days. Ate pretty badly last weekend and felt sick Sunday, Monday and Tuesday, so didn't train. Got back into it on Wednesday and feel fine.

Feb 3rd measurements

Bust 113

Waist 108

Hips 123

Thighs 66

Arms 39

Current measurements

Bust 112

Waist 107

Hips 119

Thighs 58

Arms 37.5

that's a total of 14.5cm in two weeks! OMG

Exercise

I've been doing a bootcamp for the last 4 weeks and am feeling much stronger and fitter. My measurements last Nov were

Bust 114

Waist 110

Hips 126

Thighs 66

Arms 40

Today they are

Bust 113

Waist 108

Hips 123

Thighs 66

Arms 39

Glad to see a change in my waist and hips. Have 8 weeks to go in the bootcamp, hoping to lose 8kgs.

Working on my fitness again

April 7th my measurements were...

Bust 113

Waist 108

Hips 122

Thighs 64

Arms 38

Today

Bust 114

Waist 110

Hips 126

Thighs 66

Arms 40

hmmm, that's a little more disappointing than I had hoped.

At the end of Jan this yr my measurements were

Bust 118 (46.5in)

Waist 114 (45)

Hips 128 (50.5)

Thighs 69 (27)

Arms 41 (16)

So I am still less than what I was then and that is a definite positive. Well, I am back to working on my health and fitness. Not eating as best I could, but going to the gym 3 or 4 times a week and have started the C25K again. Actually, I am just up to week 4 of the C25K, and am doing ok. Struggled a little today.

Still dating my fireman :-) it will be 5 months next week. We talk most days and I see him about once a fortnight. He is having major issues with his ex, it's causing him quite a bit of stress, but I just stay out of it. Shit could hit the fan next week as he and I are supposed to be going to Melbourne for a couple days over the weekend, and he hasn't told his ex that he won't be able to have his son. She doesn't know about me yet as it will only complicate matters further. Not sure what I would do if he backs out of going.

Mentally I am mostly ok. I have good days and bad days. The bad days have some link to my level of tiredness, I try to get a reasonable nights sleep but am often unsuccessful. On bad days I want to stay at home and sit.

Baby steps

I self analyse a lot. I do it less than I did before the meds, but I still do it.

So I was driving along in my car the other day, thinking about what I was like before the meds and something occurred to me....

If I had got help 4yrs ago, if I had been willing to go onto medication then or even way back 10 yrs ago when I miscarried and fell into depression for the first time, I may still be married to my husband today.

Yes, you read that right. I feel that my depression was actually what killed us once and for all. I remember how incredibly miserable I was, how irrational, how I felt there was no future etc etc. Now that I know what my head feels like when I am not in the throes of severe depression, I realise that my irrationality played a very significant role in my belief that there was no option but to walk away.

This makes me sad. It's not something I could ever tell my ex, or my current partner. I am seeing my bestie soon and I think I shall chat to her about it. I mentioned it to the Psych, and she seemed to agree.

I discussed past relationships with my Psych last week, and as a result had a bad couple of days. Discussing D was distressing and left me unsettled. That and the realisation about my marriage meant that I was not feeling so great about things. It affected my ability to chat to my humble hero when he phoned the next night and I actually cut our conversation really short and got off the phone. He thought I was upset with him, but we had a big chat about it the next day when I was feeling better and we got it sorted.